Come Over & We Can Hang Out on thr floor

carly rae jepsen as a genie warlock: id trade my soul for a wish

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

if I had a pokemon I would just feed it burgers and slurpees and shit i dont care

oh, you make poffins for your guys? that's soo fun. btw my infernape just landed 6 focus blasts in a row cause he heard we're going to ihop after this

will you please take my whimsical ass seriously

me in the pussy if im being fully honest

i appreciate your candid tell all style approach to my posts

if parks and rec was still being made they’d do a bit where ron swanson has to wear a pronouns name tag and it’d just be “???/???” And it’d cut to a talking head of him going

“I’ve been a fool all this time. It’s bad enough the government knows my name, but now they want to know my gender? So I’m not letting them know my preferred pronouns. As far as I’m concerned, no one in this building should refer to me at all.”

old people are right. about werthers originals

tastee

If it generally scuttles along the floor then you got a crreature. if it's Out there eating up your prized jasmine, then that's a varmint. and if it gnashes you. then you got yourself a beastie

‘roofs’ looks unbelievably stupid typed out. why can we not say ‘rooves.’ clown language with clown plurals

If the plural of roof were rooves, the singular of grooves would have to be groof. Is that what you want?

point taken I’ll do anything to avoid groof

anyone else feeling the Effects lately. due to all the Things

snoopy of the day